My kids’ piano teacher said to me after piano lessons one day, “I don’t know how you can stand it.” I said, “I just do it day by day.”
My son, Will, had spent a good portion of the piano lesson time interrupting the flow of conversation with his thoughts about his Mario Brothers video game. I felt free in a calm tone of voice to say, “Will, I am done hearing about video games. What do you think about this piece of music?” When others outside of the autism community would hear me say things like this, they would say, “You are so patient.”
His piano teacher, his youth group leaders, our relatives may have been feeling what I said to him, but with much more inner impatience. They were helpless against the onslaught of information about Mario Brothers. Their politeness prevented them from knowing what to do. They didn’t have the social tools or knowledge they needed. (We later began to educate them).
God comforts us, he molds us, he cares for us, has a purpose for us and for our children. He knows we are dust, that we are weak.
James said, 5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”(James 1:5).
The writer of Hebrews said, 16 “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16).
The psalmist said, 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
Jesus said, 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).
These are just a few of the great and precious promises that we have clung to in our journey of raising kids with special needs.
I get exactly the same thing – “I don’t know how you do it.”. My reply is the same as yours, we just get through day by day. There is nothing else we can do, there is no choice. We have to cope and we have to be strong and whilst it’s not what we would have wanted, we have been chosen for this purpose and I have to believe that it is because God thought I could cope.
Ann Kilter said:
We have a choice. That is, we have a series of choices. In dealing with our challenges on this earth, we can either draw closer to God or turn away in frustration. Even if we turn away for a time, as I did for a few years, we can always turn back to God.
God has brought many people into my life because of my children; some to comfort and encourage me, and some for me to comfort and encourage.
3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (II Corinthians 1:3-4. ESV)
While not truly a religious person (though I was raised Catholic), I do have a deep sense of faith. I have a sense of something greater than myself being in play, and that’s what gets -me- through. Sometimes, though, I am very hurt when I get an exasperated “I don’t know how you do it” because I always see the answer as so.. plain. I do it because I love him. That’s what love quite simply does, even when you want to run away and stuff your head under a rock.
I do enjoy the Psalm you quoted. It speaks to a lot of the ills of my heart. For the record, I think the whole post is beautiful, that one particular quote just stood out to me. 🙂
Ann Kilter said:
You are right. We have some things going for us, as we help our children. 1) We love them. 2) We know them. 3) We have experience. 4) We often have professional and community support.
The Bible and Psalms are so rich in encouragement.
The community support from other parents in similar situations has been absolutely mission critical to me! Hearing clear understand is an amazing balm and having insight as to where the road may go is even better.
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