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Tag Archives: Love in action

Leaving the Nest

30 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by Ann Kilter in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Goals, high functioning autism

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

asperger's, autism, encouragement, Grad school, Love in action, thanksgiving

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On Thursday, Ralph, Mary, Will and I traveled to Patty’s university apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving with her. 400 miles one way. I had debated if we should go at all. Whether the time and expense were something we should spend. We wanted to see Patty and visit with her…but after all, we are going to see her in two weeks when she flies home after the semester is over.

Ralph cooked a turkey on Tuesday with stuffing. We froze most of it and took it with us in a cooler. We bought donuts at the wonderful donut shop in our community and took them with us as well.

When we arrived, it was immediately apparent that the weeks of work, intense demands of graduate study, part-time work as a teacher’s assistant, and a week of influenza had taken a toll on the condition of her apartment. After some initial hugs, we immediately started to clean it up. The dishwasher was soon running. We made a few runs to the dumpster. Will helped Patty do all of her laundry.

Will stayed overnight at her very small apartment and spent more time teasing her and listening to her. He also mopped her floors, vacuumed, and organized her stuff.

We went out to lunch on Thursday and took her shopping. Will bought her a few more pans for his Christmas gift to her. But by Thursday night, she was starting to study again.

We left the next morning for our nine-hour trip back.

I am so glad we went. As an encouragement to her and reassurance to us that she could make it to the end of the semester. Will’s deep love for his sister was evident in his servant’s heart for her. Evidence that autism hasn’t impaired his ability to show love and empathy. A few weeks ago, he hired someone to give his house a thorough cleaning. He has been working 12-14 hours a day for one client on the east coast and another on the west coast. Yet he endured 18 hours of travel by car to Patty’s university to visit with her and clean her apartment. Today, I dropped him off at the airport in our town for his flight to the west coast.

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Thanksgiving Respite

01 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Ann Kilter in Health Crisis

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

asperger's, autism, health crisis, Love in action, thankful, thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. Time to give thanks to the Lord for the loved ones in my life. Time to catch our breath after a turbulent autumn for our family.

Ralph has suffered a series of health crises, been to the emergency room three times, admitted to the hospital twice from the emergency room. His weight has ranged from 136 to 172, due in part to what we now know is heart disease and pulmonary hypertension. Many questions remain, but for now he is recovering from major surgery for a small bowel resection and colon resection as the result of a tumor, and a stay in the hospital for pneumonia three weeks later. But he is home now, gaining strength before the next series of doctor appointments and tests. Thank you Lord.

I’ve had to do many things that used to be “his jobs.” Shoveling snow. Changing light bulbs and clocks. Cooking the Turkey for Thanksgiving. Cooking all of the suppers (he cooked about half of them). I was successful with some of his jobs.

But I was unable to start the snow blower. We’ve had already 30 inches of snow in November, and the local weatherman predicted another foot of snow. I hated winter at that point. Probably the first thing that made me cry besides Ralph’s emergency hospital stays. A man from our church came and used his snow blower on our driveway and sidewalk. A blessing. (The additional foot of snow never materialized, but there was already over a foot of snow on Ralph’s car at that point.)

The turkey was a bust  at the first attempt. Under Ralph’s instruction, I stuffed the turkey, slathered it with butter, and put it in the oven. I turned the oven to 335. But instead of turning on the timer, I pressed “Time Start” for four hours. By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late. With the advice of the Butterball turkey hotline, I threw it away. Instead of turkey we had beef and noodles with onions and mushrooms. That evening, I went to the grocery store with Will and Patty…and fresh turkeys were on sale for 75% off. The next effort was successful. We had our Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. Still thankful. Still smiling. Still delicious, even though I made the turkey.

Will came home for Thanksgiving and bought us a Christmas tree. Our old giant tree had seen better days. Last Christmas, we used duct tape to hold it together. He knows how important Christmas is to Ralph. Ralph is the one who puts the tree up, coaxes the rest of us to help. Sets up his villages around the dining room. Not sure if the village will get set up this year. But Will set up the tree, gave Ralph some of the branches to unfold, wrapped the lights around the new tree, and he and I put the ornaments on the tree. He placed it where Ralph could see it from the couch he is occupying for the time being. Will loves Christmas, too. Just like his Dad.

Thanksgiving blessings to you all.

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“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in every circumstance, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.” I Thessalonians 5:16-18, the Bible

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