Tag Archives: grief

Lament

18 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, faith, Miracles

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God put lament in the Bible for a reason. To help us. To instruct us. To care for us.

A lament is defined as a passionate expression of grief or sorrow; a song, piece of music, or poem expressing grief or sorrow; a complaint. http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/lament

Around 30 percent of the psalms are laments. Many of the Psalms of David are laments (when his baby died after his affair with Bathsheba,  when Saul hunted him down in the caves, when his own son tried to kill him). Many of his laments came after he had turned away from God. Yet God called David “A man after my own heart.” (Acts 13:22). Why? Because he turned back to God.

The important thing is that we are turning to God.

Some may feel that it is wrong to question God, but the Bible is rife with people who cry out to God, “Why?” Why? Why?

Why did my loved one die? (David) Why did I lose my job? Why was Jerusalem destroyed? (Jeremiah) Why did my son turn against me? (David). Why did I lose my family, my wealth, even my health? (Job).

We suffer the same as those biblical examples. Why does my child have autism, cancer, learning disabilities, etc.? When my three children were placed in special education in the space of a year, it was very difficult. When they were diagnosed with autism three years later, I said to God, “I am not sure that you have picked the right person for this job, this role.” Why?

Why Why Why, we cry out to God.

God knows our thoughts. We cannot hide them from him. He knows we are dust, weak, frail; even the strongest of us.But God does not berate us for our laments. When our questions are directed at God, we are communicating with him or or sometimes at him.

Or the greatest lament of all, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus, the Son, felt the same distress that we sometimes feel. He was separated from God during the time that he was dead. And he cried out to God, the Father, “Why?”

14 “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,[f] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-15 (NIV)

It is okay to question God, to go to him in distress. The important thing is to turn to Him, not away from him.

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Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley

23 Monday Jan 2012

Posted by in Support, Thankful

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This poem is often given to parents of children with Down Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy before they leave the hospital.

This poem was given to me when we were in the midst of the early elementary years with our kids, when the we were in the midst of school activities and therapies.  My kids are a gift from God, and he will use them  in the lives of others. Still, this poem expresses things that are  true.

http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.