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Tag Archives: graduate school

An Emptier Nest

24 Monday Aug 2015

Posted by Ann Kilter in Transition issues

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

asperger's, autism, empty nest, graduate school, transition

Two down, one to go.

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About a week ago, I took Patty to University. Her brother Will went with us to help with the driving and help with the move. The trip down there was 434 miles (Google’s estimate). We had to stop every two hours so Patty could put her eye drops for her iritis in. We left at 7:30 and arrived at about 3:45 p.m.

I am so glad Will came with us. He kept Patty busy with conversation and did do some of the driving. He helped me carry things from my little red car up to Patty’s new apartment. “I’m amazed you go all of this stuff in your little car,” he said.  He went with us to Staples and bought her a printer and an office chair. Then he went to Wal-Mart and bought a T.V. for her. (His sister, Mary paid for part of the T.V.)

We left Patty to sleep in her new apartment, while we slept in an economy hotel. She said she slept surprisingly well, despite her new situation. We went to Aldi’s and Kroger and stocked her cupboards and refrigerator. We tried to do what we could to make her life comfortable and supplied so that she wouldn’t have to go to the store right away, since she has no car.

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Will cooked spaghetti sauce and chili and packed it up in freezer containers so she would have something easy to warm up for meals. His dad did the same for him when he moved away three years ago.

When we left, we hugged long and hard. After we left she told us that she cried for two hours. She has to face everything in new surroundings, dealing with a fairly serious health issue, and missing her family. The second day, she told us she cried less. and she went to the ophthalmologist in her town, and found out that her iritis is gone. The doctor told her  She has to taper off the steroids; and is hoping that it won’t come back. She has been busier every day, met her advisers, and other graduate students in her department, along with the professor she is working for. Tomorrow she begins both her own classes and the class she will be T.A. -ing.

I drove all the way back; Will’s back was aching. Although he does drive his own car, he is an inexperienced driver, especially in the dark in the rain. We talked all the way back, even though he wanted to sleep. We had to pull over on the freeway in a large city because it was raining so hard. God kept us safe. We stopped at a hotel on the way home because I was too tired to drive anymore. But we got home. Will told me that helping his sister out was “worth it.” We talked about his beliefs, his home life, work life, struggles with making friends, and longing for a wife. In listening to him, I was overcome with joy at the man Will is becoming.

Our home is quieter, much quieter. Patty’s personality is big, effervescent, loud. (Our semi-feral cat, Wendy is officially afraid of her noise). Ralph misses her intensely. She took a year off between undergrad and graduate school. She has been home for him through his illness. It gave me some comfort to have her home. I went shopping for groceries Monday night. I had to stop myself from buying food that she likes. It was unsettling.

We are praying Patty will be successful, make friends in her new home, find fellowship in a church, grow spiritually and professionally.

Our nest is emptying out. Maybe Mary will move next summer. Then we will have to decide what to do with this four bedroom house. A transition for all of us. This is what we’ve been working for all this time. Thank you, Lord. It feels so odd, now that it is here.

Ann.

 

 

 

 

 

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