• About
  • My faith story
  • Whole30

annkilter

~ What ships are for…

annkilter

Tag Archives: driving

The Kilter College Taxi Service

22 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, Transition issues

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

asperger's, autism, college, driving, Kilter college taxi service

“You know what I miss since you graduated from college? I miss talking with you on the trips back and forth five days a week. Now I only have you in the car alone when we go to choir practice.” I said this to Patty on the way to choir practice last Wednesday. She agreed with me. Ralph had this same sentiment, which he expressed to Will, after Will graduated.

The Kilter College Taxi Service started in the fall of 2005, when I began taking Mary to the local community college to study accounting. I admit I took Mary to college in part because I wanted her to have something to do after graduating from high school. One of her high school teachers had said that it would be a waste of money for her to go to college. Before she started college, a neuropsychologist predicted she would not go much beyond her first year, if she went that far. Nevertheless, I kept taking her, thinking that at least it would keep her from being totally bored. I usually dropped her off at school, and Ralph usually picked her up. She went to school three to four days a week.

Two years later, in the fall of 2007, Will began attending a local Christian college. His college had a five day a week schedule.

Two years after that, Patty started college. During that year, we were driving three kids to three different colleges. During one stretch that year, I was dropping one or more of them off at 7:45 a.m. at one school, and picking another up at 9:30 p.m. Mary had night classes four days that semester. Honestly, I look back and don’t know how we did it…just by the grace of God.

Some statistics:

1) 5 cars have been involved in the taxi service: 1998 Ford Taurus, 2000 Mercury Sable, 2002 Chrysler Town & Country, 2004 Cadillac De Ville, and a 2013 Chrysler 200 (pictured below). The only car that left us hanging was the Chrysler Town & Country. The week before Patty’s final exams in 2013, it died. We ended up having to rent car to get us through the week.

2) We didn’t leave anyone stranded (for long), nor did we lose anyone in those nine years. Although there were a few times when I would walk in the door home from work, and Ralph would say, “Where’s Mary?” or “Did you forget someone?” Oops. And I would have to turn around and get them, or he would say, “You sit down. I’ll go get them.” Or vice versa.

3) On school days, we used at least 70% more gas than we would have, had we not been driving our kids to college. Some days, especially during the first winter of driving my son to college, I wondered if it would have been less expensive to have him live on campus. But when I did the math, and even when gas was $4.19 a gallon, we still saved more than half of what we would have spent having him live on campus.

4) On school days, I spent an average of an extra 90 minutes per day driving kids to or from college. Every trip was an opportunity to joke around, talk, have deep discussions about their classes or other issues of the day. It was an extra opportunity to influence our kids, to teach, to know them as young adults. It was a chance to continue honing social skills.  Our conversations weren’t always interesting. Sometimes, I let them know in the process of going on and on about computer programming (Will), tax fraud (Mary), or managerial economics (Patty), they had lost me. They told me they felt the same way when I started talking about Medicare Set-Asides (in workers’ compensation).

We started driving our kids to college because Mary and Will could not drive due to their autism. In our family, autism has affected hand/eye coordination and motor skills. As a result, many skills of a physical nature have come more slowly, if at all. According to the Drivers Rehabilitation Program in our town, Mary is not allowed to learn to drive. She has made two attempts a couple of years apart with them, and the Secretary of State has been prohibited from issuing her a learning permit. Will learned to drive with the Drivers Rehabilitation Program during his junior year of college. He received his driver’s license when he was 22. That was a happy day. Patty, although capable, still does not have a license, but this will change soon. Like many millennials,  she is fearful of driving. I guess I have let it go because we still only have two cars, and the insurance costs will go up. And maybe it was easier than fighting her on it. Still, getting the license and driving will be the next step in her independence.

10478449_10152196730476381_2457975222476242255_n

I mentioned in an earlier post that the Kilter College Taxi Service had ceased operation because our third child, Patty, had received her bachelor’s degree. We were done, I said. That is not entirely true. She has a few more classes to take at the Community College (French), and some tasks to complete (getting her drivers’ license). But I expect Patty to share in the driving chores until she goes off to grad school. Still, I feel at loose ends. Although I have had summers off from driving to college daily, I am now facing a fall where I don’t have to take anyone to college every day. My friends at work asked me what I was going to do with all my extra time. I have toyed with the idea of finding another student to take to college. It’s probably time to move on. I am just going through a little adjustment anxiety.

 

Driving – a dream released

21 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by Ann Kilter in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, high functioning autism, Independence, Thankful, Transition issues

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

asperger's syndrome, autism, driving, high functioning autism, transition, wisdom learned

Mary started on-the-road driving instruction yesterday. Her instructed said that if today she doesn’t improve greatly in her ability to turn the wheel, she will not be able to continue. This was quite distressing to her, and I will admit, to me as well. She spent at least six months trying to get driving instruction lined up with the local driver’s rehabilitation program.

But my desire is that the answer from the driver’s rehabilitation program will be clear. Can she learn to drive or not? My feeling is that learning to drive may not possible.

Update:

This afternoon Mary texted, “No more training.” I texted back that I would leave work and pick her up and bring her home. I didn’t want her to be waiting too long at the scene of disappointment.

In the car, I asked, “What did your instructor say?” She said, “I couldn’t push the brakes at the right time, or turn sharp enough. It isn’t her fault, it is my autism.” Mary told me that she planned to do the dishes and laundry when she got home.

I dropped her off, and went back to work. I struggled emotionally at work. There are some limitations that just cannot be overcome.

Shortly after I came home, I was talking to Ralph, and I thought I heard someone downstairs doing laundry and singing. When Mary came upstairs, I asked her if she had been singing. She said she didn’t know all the words. but she was singing a worship song.

Maybe she is relieved that she doesn’t have to learn to drive, even though she really wanted to learn. Now, she says, she can look for work in her brother’s city. They have a much better bus system. Her brother likes that idea.

Independent Transportation

23 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by Ann Kilter in Transition issues

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

autism, career, driving, independence

My son bought his first car this week with some of his money and a loan from us. He is quickly learning the costs associated with car ownership. But this is an important step in the transition to independence.He paid the taxes, the registration fee, and bought a new license plate. On the day he brought it home, it had problems. That can happen when you buy a car for $1,700.00.

He has been riding the bus independently for four or five years, and he is confident in his ability to do so.So are we.

He began to learn to drive with the help of the local driver rehabilitation program, at the age of 21. (I have learned long ago that part of the long patience of dealing with autism is waiting for the right time. My kids usually achieve milestones later than other people’s children, but that topic will wait for another post.) He drove with the instructor for three months once a week. The instructor said that it was not safe for him to drive yet and that he needed three more months of instruction. After that, he drove with us for six months.

He got his driver’s license in the fall of his junior year in college. He was so happy.

He graduated from college in May and has been looking for work ever since. He has had one part-time and one full-time job. He needs to get a job, but not having a car is a real barrier.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 525 other subscribers

Top Posts & Pages

  • About
  • Not Like Mom
  • Ten Things I Wish Were True
  • Throwing Off the Label
  • Mary's Wishes
  • Anxiety Overload
  • Uncertainty
  • New Year's Goals, Wishes, Changes, etc.
  • Life on a Tether
  • Battling Isolation

Finally, I’m on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • The Monster Wakes UP
  • So Many Advertisements, So Little Time
  • Blocking Bullies
  • Incomplete Without You – a lecture by Erik W. Carter
  • Collateral Damage
  • He’s Left The Harbor
  • Character and Determination
  • Don’t Get Me Started – A Rant About Grammar, Punctuation & Spelling
  • Exceptionally Forward
  • If Not For Autism….

Parts of my life not related to autism: annkilter2

Egg Drop Soup for Breakfast

Confession – Cheating on the Whole 30

Chocolate chili lunch

Day one completed, Day two here we come

Lidia’s mustard italian dressing.

Blogroll

  • California
  • Fever, flu linked with autism in pregnancy
  • Get Support
  • Joy In the Valley
  • Just a Thought Devotionals
  • Snagglebox – Autism Parenting Support
  • Social Stories
  • When the Enemy asks Questions about Disability
  • Wonderfully Wired – Created to be Remarkable

Recent Comments

rachelcarrera on The Monster Wakes UP
Jerry on So Many Advertisements, So Lit…
Lilka Finley Raphael on So Many Advertisements, So Lit…
rachelcarrera on Blocking Bullies
Ann Kilter on Blocking Bullies

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • annkilter
    • Join 488 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • annkilter
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...