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annkilter

Tag Archives: courage

Character and Determination

13 Monday Aug 2018

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

autism, character, courage, determination, overcoming, perserverance, test

When Marie graduated from high school, the state rehabilitation agency sent her to a day long series of evaluations to assess whether my plan to take her to college was an appropriate use of state funds.

The report was devastating. 20+ pages long. I read it tearfully. However, I had read many similar reports about Marie throughout her education.

Some of her teachers in middle school and high school had honestly looked at her weaknesses, but they also looked at her strengths. She started reading at 15 through intensive instruction. The first novel she read was THE LORD OF THE RINGS at 16.

And she had an affinity for numbers. Her teachers encouraged this. In high school, she finished a 2-year course in computerized accounting in one year at the KCTC. She worked hard.

The Michigan Rehab neuropsych testing concluded that she could take beginning college classes like remedial English and beginning accounting classes, but she wouldn’t be able to pass advanced accounting classes. Even if she passed advanced accounting classes, she likely wouldn’t graduate. Even if she graduated, because of her autism, she wouldn’t be able to interact with clients.

Her sister, Patty, said to me at the time, that test does not measure hard work or determination. It doesn’t measure character.

So the fall of 2005, Marie started taking classes at GRCC. We signed her up for disability services at the college. She did well in all of her accounting classes and needed tutoring in language based courses. She graduated from community college in 2008 with an associate degree in accounting. We encouraged her to go to Davenport for her bachelor’s degree. She graduated from Davenport in 2010.

The neuropsych testing was correct in forecasting her difficulty in finding full-time work. She got interviews. But never the job. I surmise that the interviewers knew something was off. She didn’t make eye contact, her voice was very soft, she still had residual speech issues.

After a year of this, she looked up volunteer organizations, and found a volunteer position at Mel Trotter in accounts receivable. She volunteered without fail for a year. Her boss told her that if she volunteered for a year they would hire her part time. They hired her that fall. She worked full time during the giving season October through December and one or two afternoons a week for the rest of the year, for three years. And she continued to look for work and got interviews, but never a job.

In the spring of 2014 she told me that she was going to go in a different direction. Goodwill in collaboration with Peckham Industries was offering a course leading to IT certification. She was going to an interview for the program next week. Would I take her? Of course, I said. The job opportunity was at a call center at Peckham Industries.

So she started the course in August 2014. In October 2014, Ralph was hospitalized for bowel obstruction and emergency bowel resection surgery due to a tumor. Our Sunday school class stepped in and provided transportation so that Marie could finish her course. They also took Patty to her TA job at Cornerstone University. This was what we desperately needed. God provided this through his people. Ephesians 2:10 in action.

Marie passed the certification course on the first try. She went through the interview process, including an interview with the FBI for security clearance, and was hired with the first group of hires for Peckham Industries’ call center to provide tech support for the USDA forest service. They also have contracts for Visa tech support.

She has been working for Peckham for 3 1/2 years. Two years ago, she bought the condo we live in with her. She is now taking courses at the community college for a computer programming associates while working full time. She is getting straight A’s.

Marie’s life is testimony to the goodness of God. And the accumulation of all the good works performed by hundreds of people on her behalf and our behalf. This didn’t happen by accident.

*****

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:1013906724_10153813157811381_3887460422324417653_n

Courage is Contagious

31 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by Ann Kilter in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Disability, high functioning autism, Support

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

ASD, aspergers's, autism, Autistic spectrum disorder, courage, disability

Courage.

Some days, some months, some years, it takes courage to get out of bed and do the job of raising our children with special needs.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines courage as “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.”

That pretty much sums it up.

Some days it takes courage just to get dressed, get our kids dressed, and get everyone where they need to go. Sometimes it takes courage to face special education committees to advocate for your child. Sometimes takes courage to advocate for our kids to the youth group leader, Sunday school teachers, summer camp leaders, neighbors, family, school, etc. Etc. Etc.

Sometimes it takes courage when a day has been a complete and utter mess, exhausting everyone, to get up the next day and start again.

But, when you live your life with courage, others are encouraged.

When my children were young, sometimes tears would slip down my cheeks when discussing my children’s difficulties. I am sometimes an overly emotional person. I can’t always keep smiling in the face of difficulties. Actually, I can rarely keep smiling in the face of difficulties. That’s not me. During these meetings sometimes my kids’ teacher consultant or social worker would tell me that they would bring me up as an example to other parents. I didn’t really believe them. I thought they were just saying that because of their discomfort with my emotions.

I was reminded of those meetings when I visited with my parents at my brother’s house this weekend. My sister also showed up from the other side of the state. She is a nurse, with wildly varying hours, so it is not easy to see her, or even talk to her on the phone these days. (She ended up having to leave early because she is on call for two weeks). While we were talking about her youngest son, she mentioned that she knew how to advocate for him because of our many conversations when my kids were young and watching how I handled my kids. She told me that he has some autistic features. “He has autism?” I said. She nodded. Thinking back on it, I can see it in him. He is in his third year of college planning to go into computer programming. He is on the high end of the spectrum, so they didn’t realize what they were dealing with until much later in his education.

My courage encouraged her. Your courage will encourage others…even if you can’t see how.

courage-to-continue-mcounts

 

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