December 23, 1991 – an entry from my journals.

I went (to church) even though I was still sick, because I wanted to see my kids in the Christmas Program. And what I saw was a little upsetting. Instead of just enjoying my kids, I find myself constantly evaluating them – especially in comparison to other kids.

Mary was up there, she didn’t even try to sing the songs (of course she’s been gone and missed the practices). In addition to that she picked her nose. Isn’t that attractive? Will had his finger up his nose half the time, too.

But Will did not sing the songs. He kept pointing to the light in the globe and saying, above the other children’s singing, “There’s a light in there! A light in there!” And he kept turning around and around.

I am past the point where I think it’s cute. This behavior is beginning to worry me. Continue reading →