Tag Archives: career

To California and Back Again

20 Monday Aug 2012

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, high functioning autism, Independence, Thankful, Transition issues

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Will has been to California and back again. It was a roller coaster experience for Ralph and me. We gripped the edge of our seats, and waited for texts from Will as he arrived at each airport and then at the hotel. I really didn’t sleep well this past week. Thank God for cell phones.

Will flew on three planes on the way out to California, at least one train, and a bus. He got on the wrong train and realized he was going in the wrong direction and came back. The bus route ended a mile and a half from his hotel. He walked in 90+ degree heat to his hotel, and accepted a ride from a stranger to his hotel (Yikes!). I prayed that God’s angels would surround him and keep him safe. I prayed that he would not have a melt down along the way. If he did, I don’t know about it.

He texted us when he arrived at the hotel and when he arrived at his home.

He discovered hotel shuttles, and caught a ride to the bus station. He rode the bus, the train, three planes (with extended layovers) on the way back. He’s exhausted, but it was definitely worth it. 20 years ago, we were told that he was mentally impaired and would probably never live by himself. Now he has done something I and his father have never done: fly in a commercial jet, not just once, but six times in the space of a week.

He went to his training sessions for four days, eight hours each, and did homework for three hours each night. He went out to dinner with his manager to an Italian restaurant. At the end of the week, his manager showed him the work he would be doing once he is certified in the software he trained in all week. Then he went to dinner at his manager’s home, where he told Will that  in their culture (India), it would be an insult if he did not eat a lot. Will discovered that he likes Indian food.

This trip was a learning experience for him and us. He learned to use hotel shuttles and room service when the hotel was having a “sizzling party” in the hotel restaurant. He balked at the $2.50 charge, plus 20% gratuity. We convinced him that $2.50 was nothing compared to the time cost of finding an outside restaurant when he was so tired. He just doesn’t want to spend the money.

Will must have impressed his manager for this project because, be still my heart, he would like Will to come back to California for seven weeks in September and October.

Independence – report 1

07 Monday May 2012

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, high functioning autism, Independence, Transition issues

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Will has spent his first weekend without us. And he is making strides in beginning his own life independently.

With all the technology that keeps us connected, we know a lot of what he did this weekend. When I went away to college, I survived on letters (real mail) and a 10 minute phone call once a week. We hear from Will daily, sometimes more than once a day to different members of the family. Eventually, there will come days when he is too busy to call or we are too busy.

He got his first paycheck, which was one more indication that this job is the real thing. He told me early in the day that he was going to buy a new 3-quart saucepan at Meijer, even if he had to pay full price. Later, he was excited to tell me that he found what he needed at Goodwill: a 3-quart saucepan and a silverware sorter for the silverware drawer; both at a 90% savings over buying them new. (His stint working at a Goodwill warehouse around Christmas time this past year opened his eyes to the bargains at Goodwill). He told me what he bought at the grocery store – five items. Not what I would have bought, but his choice. What he felt he needed. I remember having the same dialogues with my mother when I started out on my own (with my husband).

When he did his laundry this week, he told me that he ironed all of his work clothes because he didn’t want any wrinkles. Wow.

On Sunday afternoon, he told his Dad that he went to a small group meeting at his church, with eight couples of varying ages, and had dinner with them. He found out that at the church he has chosen (been led to) there is another young man working at this same large corporation, a bit further along in the process, another person who is a programmer. And a professor of computer science at huge state university who is responsible for luring giant corporation to open a branch in Will’s city. Amazing.

This coming weekend we are planning to see him again, with all of us this time. His younger sister, Patty, is finally done with exams, so she has time to go. She said, she finally had the freedom to really miss him, and let herself feel her emotions. She is the only one who hasn’t seen his apartment.

We will bring him a few items, plus homemade cookies. I am on vacation this week, so I have time to do some baking.

Independent Transportation

23 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by in Transition issues

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My son bought his first car this week with some of his money and a loan from us. He is quickly learning the costs associated with car ownership. But this is an important step in the transition to independence.He paid the taxes, the registration fee, and bought a new license plate. On the day he brought it home, it had problems. That can happen when you buy a car for $1,700.00.

He has been riding the bus independently for four or five years, and he is confident in his ability to do so.So are we.

He began to learn to drive with the help of the local driver rehabilitation program, at the age of 21. (I have learned long ago that part of the long patience of dealing with autism is waiting for the right time. My kids usually achieve milestones later than other people’s children, but that topic will wait for another post.) He drove with the instructor for three months once a week. The instructor said that it was not safe for him to drive yet and that he needed three more months of instruction. After that, he drove with us for six months.

He got his driver’s license in the fall of his junior year in college. He was so happy.

He graduated from college in May and has been looking for work ever since. He has had one part-time and one full-time job. He needs to get a job, but not having a car is a real barrier.