We came. We saw. We snagged the right apartment, we hope.
When Patty moves in August to begin her masters degree studies, she has a tiny efficiency apartment to move into. A place to call her own. She chose to pay for a furnished apartment so that she would not have to buy furniture.
I struggled with whether we should make the effort and spend the money to travel 400 miles (one way) to the university to get our feet on the ground to make the all important decision regarding where Patty would live for the next year. I said to the Lord, “I need your help.” The next day, I suddenly felt that we should go. I can’t explain it. That evening I came home from work and a substantial check had arrived in the mail as the result of an overpayment in our escrow fund.
We made a hotel reservation and I took the the days off from work. I prepared my mind to be the only driver for an 800 mile trip. My friend lent us her GPS for the trip.
I had to trust the instructions of the GPS (“Tom”) to get us through multiple cities with many construction zones, merging and forking major highways. I also had to learn to trust Patty, who navigated the entire trip. I couldn’t look at Tom’s screen or her cell phone map. Listening to her directions was the only choice. We were very tired when we arrived, but we made it safely to our destinations. 11 hours there, and 9 hours back.
When we arrived in the college town, we found information regarding housing we couldn’t see on online maps and Google Earth. The University is in mountainous country. The city and campus are perched on steep hills. We eliminated one complex based on its location on a steep hill. There really is no substitute for being there.
As we neared the end of our journey there, Patty became very quiet. I spoke about the way the mountains would be part of her experience. She said she was feeling sad about leaving home.
“You don’t have to go,” I said. “The decision is not set in stone.”
“Don’t try to minimize my feelings,” she answered. “I am allowed to feel sad about leaving home.”
My daughter is about to strike out on her own. On the second night, I could not sleep as I struggled with how she was going to make it on her own. I wanted to keep her safe. To make sure she had enough to eat. To get around on her own. After many sleepless hours, I said to the Lord, “I need your help.” I finally fell asleep.
The next day, she signed the lease for her first apartment. She didn’t need me to be a guarantor. Her award letter detailing her tuition waiver and stipend was enough. She has already shown her ability to provide her own way.
Our trip there and back again was essential, important. And part of the process of letting go and letting her find her wings.
2014 has been a rough year, or at least the last third has been a rough year due to Ralph’s health issues.
But here we are in 2015. I am not going to make any resolutions, but here are some wishes, changes, goals, and events that I would like to see for this year.
1) Ralph to gain 10 good pounds. Not due to edema. Muscle and fat would be good.
2) Direction from all of his doctors together regarding effective measures to restore his health.
3) I would like to simplify my life.
4) I want to get rid of more stuff. Last year I took several trunk loads of stuff to Goodwill. A large, old four bedroom house with walk-in closets and a full basement can hold a lot of stuff. I am not a hoarder, just a forgetter. Out of sight, out of mind they say…and there is plenty of room here to put things out of sight.
5) I would like to see Mary get succeed at a full-time job and move toward independence. Maybe get her own apartment.
6) I would like to move to a smaller place, with fewer maintenance needs and outdoor chores. (Part of simplifying my life).
7) Patty to get into grad school and move away from home.
8) Patty to get her driver’s license, and help me with some driving chores this year before she moves away.
9) Will is in the process of trying to buy a house. I would like to see him do that.
10) Do more things together with Ralph. The last few years, as the kids graduated from college, I’ve had more “free time.” I filled up that time with choir, our local writing group, my scrapbooking group, my quilting group, and other activities. Ralph’s health problems have brought a screeching halt to all of this. I think/hope he is starting to feel better. I want to be very careful about what I add back in. I want to include something that is “us” time on a regular basis. And I did go to scrapbooking and quilting last month. Those are once a month meetings. Writing was twice a month, and choir is a big commitment (once a week and some Saturday rehearsals, plus Sunday). I need some ideas for “us” time.
What do you hope to see for 2015?
Will came home for my birthday this weekend. The family went to see Fiddler on the Roof at the local theater last night.
Patty and I went out to lunch with Will today. We were talking about the musical, and Will said, “You can always tell when you are around theater people. They are so extroverted. The same way you can tell when you are around…autistic people.”
A lot of Will’s friends in college were theater people.
Of course this begs the question…
Tiger, tiger in our tree. I see him looking out at me. Who knew, when kitten found that he….Would make his home a Christmas tree?
When first he shimmied up the tree…He was a kit, 2 oz, pound three,…Now 15 pounds, give or take…His climb doth cause the tree to quake.
He is the smartest cat of all…and with his polydactyl claws..He knocks ornaments off with fury…Picking them up makes me weary.
Tiger coos with delight…As he climbs up past the lights…Then hubby cries out with a mighty shout…Tiger, from the tree get out!
Then Mr. Tiger takes a flight…Over all the Christmas lights…Like a sparrow, like a robin…He just makes those lights go wobblin’
Tiger, tiger, in our tree…Again I see him look out at me…Who knew, when kitten found, that he…Would make his home a Christmas tree?