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annkilter

Tag Archives: accomplishment

I Want the Gravy, Too.

05 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Autism

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

accomplishment, autism, contentment, Life's work, success

“You are seeing the successful culmination of your life’s work,” said my psychiatrist this morning.

I have been seeing this psychiatrist for treatment and maintenance of my bipolar II disorder for almost 20 years. He has seen me struggle through most of the years that my kids have had the diagnosis of autism. He asked me how my kids were doing.

I told him…

Will is working for the largest computer company in the world. He has been to Seattle twice in the last two months. He bought a house this winter. He struggles occasionally due to autistic features, but he is very successful. I always think of Will first when asked to give the news about my kids. Perhaps because he has spread his wings and taken off.

Mary has been working at her job as a IT help desk at a call center, and she is enjoying it. She is saving her money so she can move into an apartment next year, about this time.

Patty is preparing to move away to grad school. 400 miles away. She will have what amounts to a full ride. We are hoping to go down to visit the college in a few weeks in order to find an apartment.

We have almost met our goal. Our life’s work is almost complete. But I must admit that I want the gravy, too. If I ever have grandchildren, I would like to enjoy them for a while. If our children make their homes far away, I would like to have the strength and means to travel and take vacations to see them. Travel has never been part of my life. I hope Ralph can go with me. These are things that we have given up in order to complete our life’s work. But if they never happen, I think I can be satisfied with fulfilling our calling.

Where I am right now is where God has called me to be. I heard that song on the radio a few days ago. It so speaks to me right now.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=02CMMFNU

Perseveration Perseverance

25 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Disability, Independence, Thankful

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

accomplishment, asperger's, disability, effort

Perseveration is the uncontrollable repetition of certain responses to stimuli both external and internal. Many people with brain injuries and developmental disorders exhibit perseveration. “Perseveration may also refer to the obsessive and highly selective interests of individuals on the autism spectrum” (Wikipedia).

When Mary was a young child, she repetitiously tore the pages of any book she could put her hands on. The ripping sound seemed to satisfy some need. We had to hide them for a while. We bought her board books and vinyl books, to help her enjoy books without the opportunity to destroy them. She also would repeat the same sentences verbatim regarding her cats or to dogs to anyone who would listen.

Perseveration in high functioning people on the autistic spectrum can also find expression in perseverance, a related concept. “Perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.” (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/discouragement).

Mary  is perseverance personified. Her steady persistence in the face of obstacles and discouragement led to an Associates degree in accounting, and then a bachelor’s degree. She accomplished what other said was impossible.

She has severe learning disabilities, autism, and had a brain infarction at birth. Her speech impairment was in the severe category for many years; she had speech therapy well into high school. She learned to read in the eighth grade due to the persistent efforts of her wonderful teachers and her own efforts.  Among the first bookd she read independently was The Lord of the Rings. Before reading the trilogy, though, she listened to many books on tape through the Reading for the Blind program.

Her regular education teachers said it would be a waste of money and time for her to attend college. She went through another round of neuropsych testing at the age of 19. The neuropsychologist told us it would be impossible for her to succeed at college, and even if she succeeded with a few courses, she  would not be able to understand upper level courses.

Finding meaningful employment is very difficult for high functioning people on the autistic spectrum. Mary graduated from college in 2010, but has yet to find permanent employment. Still, she persists in her efforts. She volunteered at a homeless shelter for over a year using her accounting skills. This fall she had temporary full time work with them during holiday season (three months). She continues to work a few afternoons a week. She continues to persevere in her hunt for permanent employment. She has to find a job that she can get to by bus, because due to her physical limitations, the driver’s rehabilitation program has deemed her unable to drive.

She persevered and accomplished more than we could have imagined when she was placed in special education at five years of age. I was discouraged when I received the results of the neuropsychological evaluation when she was 19. She had worked so hard. But my other daughter said to me, “they can test reading and language, but they can’t test character.” Her perseveration had developed into perseverance; “especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.”

Overcompensating

16 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by Ann Kilter in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, high functioning autism

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

accomplishment, achievement, asperger's, autism

When I was in high school, my mother would frequently tell her friends, sometimes in my hearing, that the reason I had such high grades was that I was “overcompensating” for my weaknesses (She felt that I was unattractive, had poor social skills, and was clumsy).

It is probable that I have some autistic traits, though some of them have diminished over the years.

Some studies have suggested that autism and genius have some traits in common. http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/10/what-child-prodigies-and-autistic-people-have-in-common/

As we were raising our kids, we tried to use their “intense fascinations” or what would be called “strengths” in normal kids to encourage them toward career studies or enrichment activities. So Will loved music as a youngster and computers. He was in band/orchestra for 10 years from middle to high school. He has a job as web developer programmer now. Mary’s strength was in numbers. She loves accounting. Patty, although not autistic, loves history and is working toward a degree in that field.

I contend that “overcompensating” is not the right description of the reason for our children’s accomplishment, because that idea shines a light on what they may lack. What is a good description?

What are the strengths of your children?

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