This article reads like a biography about our lives as parents.

Hidden Stress: Parental Burdens Caused by Autism

http://triplehelixblog.com/2011/07/hidden-stress-parental-burdens-caused-by-autism/

In light of this, I would like to recommend a devotional written by Joni Earekson Tada, Diamonds in the Dust. This devotional was very helpful. I have read through it many times.

Will took two PTO (personal time off) days off and came home for the 4th of July, Independence day; that is, he visited us at our home for five days. It was good to have him home. He spent time playing video games with his sisters and talking with us. He also spent some time helping us shampoo the carpets. I bought him some groceries for helping us.

We have been nagging him about getting some real furniture. So he could barely keep secret the fact that he had purchased a couch for his apartment. He wanted to surprise me when we came to visit him. It’s a nice couch. We visited him in his home. Today, Saturday, he is having a boxed mattress set delivered to his home.

I am still getting used to the reality that his home is 70 miles away. This is now Mom and Dad’s house. Our city is his hometown, the place that he came from, the place he was raised.

Last night was the first evening that we didn’t hear from Will. He was at a men’s Bible study and didn’t have time to call us. This is progress. Little by little he will become less dependent on us, building his own life.

While all the attention lately has been on Will because of his new job, new apartment, and new adventures away from home, there is still mothering to be done close at  hand.

Mary, Will’s older sister, has been looking for work since December 2010. She faces more barriers to employment than Will. Her autism is more apparent, she wants to work in accounting, and her spelling is poor. So far, she cannot drive. Later this month, she will be tested again by the rehabilitation hospital to see if she can take driver’s training. When she tested for it three years ago, she was prohibited from taking driver’s training. She gets interviews at least twice a month, but never gets beyond the interview.

Still, Mary is hopeful. She keeps applying. She keeps going to interview practice with a local Asperger’s specialist. She keeps volunteering two afternoons a week at one of the local homeless shelters in accounts receivable. And she has a phone interview with the Red Cross next week doing the same sort of work with donations that she is doing at the homeless shelter. Pray.

Will’s younger sister, Patty, finished her final exams last week and is looking for work this week as well. She really feels the urgency this year because her financial aid package is not as generous as it has been.

There is plenty of encouraging and mothering still to be done on the home front.

Protectors are important.

Bullying was a significant problem for Will. When he was in elementary school, kids threw spitballs at him when there was a substitute teacher. He was pushed around the playground. This hit me especially hard because I was bullied as a child for several years. Relief came when my parents moved the family to another city. I was still shy and awkward, but at least I was ignored for the most part. That was better. But when my son was being bullied, it all came rushing back.

I called a meeting with his special education team, his teacher, and the principal. The social worker said, “Kids can be so cruel.” I said, “That’s a cop out. Kids can be kind, too.” I requested a chance to educate his classmates on the subject of autism. This ended the bullying for the most part. But one of Will’s protectors came to me one afternoon (our neighbor girl in the same class as Will) and told me that Will had been placed next to a girl who tormented him at every opportunity to the point of tears. The next morning I called his teacher and asked if this girl was sitting next to John. I told her what my neighbor girl had witnessed. I said, “Will should not have to sit next to her for even one more minute.” That girl was moved immediately.

Will also had some problems in Middle school with one bully in particular who thought it was fun to shove him against the lockers. Although Will was taller than any other boy in middle school, he could not defend himself. His teacher consultant told me that this other boy had been placed in another school. His classmates were his protectors; they reported it to the principal.

When Will joined Marching band, the Football players let it be known around the school that anyone who messed with Will, messed with them. God bless them.