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Category Archives: Goals

Leaving the Nest

30 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by Ann Kilter in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Goals, high functioning autism

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

asperger's, autism, encouragement, Grad school, Love in action, thanksgiving

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On Thursday, Ralph, Mary, Will and I traveled to Patty’s university apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving with her. 400 miles one way. I had debated if we should go at all. Whether the time and expense were something we should spend. We wanted to see Patty and visit with her…but after all, we are going to see her in two weeks when she flies home after the semester is over.

Ralph cooked a turkey on Tuesday with stuffing. We froze most of it and took it with us in a cooler. We bought donuts at the wonderful donut shop in our community and took them with us as well.

When we arrived, it was immediately apparent that the weeks of work, intense demands of graduate study, part-time work as a teacher’s assistant, and a week of influenza had taken a toll on the condition of her apartment. After some initial hugs, we immediately started to clean it up. The dishwasher was soon running. We made a few runs to the dumpster. Will helped Patty do all of her laundry.

Will stayed overnight at her very small apartment and spent more time teasing her and listening to her. He also mopped her floors, vacuumed, and organized her stuff.

We went out to lunch on Thursday and took her shopping. Will bought her a few more pans for his Christmas gift to her. But by Thursday night, she was starting to study again.

We left the next morning for our nine-hour trip back.

I am so glad we went. As an encouragement to her and reassurance to us that she could make it to the end of the semester. Will’s deep love for his sister was evident in his servant’s heart for her. Evidence that autism hasn’t impaired his ability to show love and empathy. A few weeks ago, he hired someone to give his house a thorough cleaning. He has been working 12-14 hours a day for one client on the east coast and another on the west coast. Yet he endured 18 hours of travel by car to Patty’s university to visit with her and clean her apartment. Today, I dropped him off at the airport in our town for his flight to the west coast.

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New Year’s Goals, Wishes, Changes, etc.

01 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by Ann Kilter in Goals

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

aspergers syndrome, autism, goals, health crisis, New Year

2014 has been a rough year, or at least the last third has been a rough year due to Ralph’s health issues.

But here we are in 2015. I am not going to make any resolutions, but here are some wishes, changes, goals, and events that I would like to see for this year.

1) Ralph to gain 10 good pounds. Not due to edema. Muscle and fat would be good.

2) Direction from all of his doctors together regarding effective measures to restore his health.

3) I would like to simplify my life.

4) I want to get rid of more stuff. Last year I took several trunk loads of stuff to Goodwill. A large, old four bedroom house with walk-in closets and a full basement can hold a lot of stuff. I am not a hoarder, just a forgetter. Out of sight, out of mind they say…and there is plenty of room here to put things out of sight.

5) I would like to see Mary get succeed at a full-time job and move toward independence. Maybe get her own apartment.

6) I would like to move to a smaller place, with fewer maintenance needs and outdoor chores. (Part of simplifying my life).

7) Patty to get into grad school and move away from home.

8) Patty to get her driver’s license, and help me with some driving chores this year before she moves away.

9) Will is in the process of trying to buy a house. I would like to see him do that.

10) Do more things together with Ralph. The last few years, as the kids graduated from college, I’ve had more “free time.” I filled up that time with choir, our local writing group, my scrapbooking group, my quilting group, and other activities. Ralph’s health problems have brought a screeching halt to all of this. I think/hope he is starting to feel better. I want to be very careful about what I add back in. I want to include something that is “us” time on a regular basis. And I did go to scrapbooking and quilting last month. Those are once a month meetings. Writing was twice a month, and choir is a big commitment (once a week and some Saturday rehearsals, plus Sunday). I need some ideas for “us” time.

What do you hope to see for 2015?

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