Category Archives: diagnosis

Speech Practice

10 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Disability, high functioning autism, Thankful

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Will’s voice echoed in the empty gymnasium as he practiced his valedictorian speech to a large empty room with chairs set in long rows, 20 deep. I sat in the last row, along with his speech therapist, social worker, teacher consultant, one of his English teachers, and his younger sister, Patty.

graduation

Will needed to get accustomed to microphone feed back. His words echoed, as he labored over them, sometimes sing song, at times too loud or too soft. The rhythm of his speech was off. He patiently endured our suggestions and started again. And again, and again. We spent five afternoons after school in late spring, helping him  get ready to deliver his speech.

He put up with the practice because he had labored long and hard to be the valedictorian of his small class. He was identified as gifted in the fifth grade. Although socially awkward, loud, skinny, tall, and sometimes bullied, doing well in school was gratifying. Something he could depend on. Something he knew how to do.

Looking back at this time from six years later, from success in college, and now a good job as a computer programmer at a large corporation, I sometimes forget his labor, his hard work to get where he is now. Continue reading →

Autism 45 – Insight Into 50 Years of Autism

27 Saturday Jul 2013

Posted by in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Disability, Miracles, Not autism, Transition issues

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I am recommending this blog because this blogger, Carole Norman Scott, has traveled the road long before most of us. Before there were autistic classrooms.

http://autism45.wordpress.com/

She has struggled just like we have. And found hope and victory just as we are doing. She is the kind of role model I had when my kids were growing up. I didn’t know her, but there were others.

Evaluator in Chief

25 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Tests

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December 23, 1991 – an entry from my journals.

I went (to church) even though I was still sick, because I wanted to see my kids in the Christmas Program. And what I saw was a little upsetting. Instead of just enjoying my kids, I find myself constantly evaluating them – especially in comparison to other kids.

Mary was up there, she didn’t even try to sing the songs (of course she’s been gone and missed the practices). In addition to that she picked her nose. Isn’t that attractive? Will had his finger up his nose half the time, too.

But Will did not sing the songs. He kept pointing to the light in the globe and saying, above the other children’s singing, “There’s a light in there! A light in there!” And he kept turning around and around.

I am past the point where I think it’s cute. This behavior is beginning to worry me. Continue reading →

Little Pitchers Have Big Ears

09 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Disability, faith, high functioning autism, Support, Thankful, Transition issues

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When Mary was five, six, seven, I  used to talk to my mother on the phone about Mary’s developmental delays. I needed my mother’s support, her empathy. I poured out my worry, sorrow and despair about Mary’s test results.

One day I realized suddenly that Mary was very quiet, listening on the other side of the door. An uneasy regret settled in the pit of my stomach. Continue reading →

Learning to Iron

02 Sunday Jun 2013

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Disability, faith, high functioning autism, Independence, Miracles, Thankful, Transition issues

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”A ship is safest in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.”

~John Shedd

All of a sudden, Will has left the safety of the family harbor. His ship has launched and he has moved into his own apartment in another city seventy miles away. His job is the beginning of his true career. He worked hard for this chance. All the years of therapy, special services, study and encouragement have resulted in this giant step toward independence, despite the giant challenge of autism.

During the interview with a huge corporation, they told him that if he were hired, he would start on April 16. On April 12, his father and I suggested that he probably wasn’t going to get the job. Whew! We had dodged that bullet, we thought. He would not be moving away from home. The very next day, the human resources department contacted him, offering him a position as an entry-level web developer. He would start on April 25. He was excited and nervous.

We were happy for him and dreadfully nervous. But we had stepped boldly forth into the risk that he might move away. We were the ones who encouraged him to go to the interview, and his dad actually drove him seventy miles for the interview, 140 miles round trip.

Anxiety plagued me. Had I prepared him enough? Had I taught him what he needed to know to live on his own, to navigate life outside the harbor? I wouldn’t have many more chances to teach him what he needed to know.

A week after we moved him, his sister Mary and I went to visit him for the weekend and bring another load of his furniture and possessions. I wanted to see how he was doing on his own. His apartment was still very sparsely furnished, with an air mattress in his bedroom and lawn chairs in the living room. He was camping in his own apartment. He would buy real furniture when he could afford it.

I got another chance to teach Will how to grab his dress clothes out of the dryer so that he would not have to iron them. However the clothes didn’t come out of the apartment dryers as wrinkle free as I had hoped. So we went shopping and he bought an ironing board and an iron.

Then we went back to his apartment and took all of his dress clothes out of the closet. I gave him and Mary ironing lessons. At home, my method of grabbing clothes quickly out of the dryer is an effective wrinkle deterrent, so my ironing lessons in the past were half hearted. But this time, both my children paid close attention. Both Will and Mary picked it up quickly. Will told me he has ironed his clothes every week since.

I am shocked that this is so hard. Letting go is harder than I thought it would be, but other parents, parents of typical kids, tell me that they found it difficult as well. When my kids were little, they had separation anxiety. Now I am feeling that anxiety on the other end of parenthood.

My chances to prepare my son for his future are diminishing quickly. He is learning his own lessons, and he is enjoying it for the most part. I love the John Shedd quote: “A ship is safest in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.” I have this saying in the signature line of my e-mails both at home and at work, to remind myself daily that my kids cannot stay in the harbor. In the end, keeping them in the harbor is not safe.

~Ann Kilter