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~ What ships are for…

annkilter

Category Archives: Miracles

Autism 45 – Insight Into 50 Years of Autism

27 Saturday Jul 2013

Posted by Ann Kilter in Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Disability, Miracles, Not autism, Transition issues

≈ 2 Comments

I am recommending this blog because this blogger, Carole Norman Scott, has traveled the road long before most of us. Before there were autistic classrooms.

http://autism45.wordpress.com/

She has struggled just like we have. And found hope and victory just as we are doing. She is the kind of role model I had when my kids were growing up. I didn’t know her, but there were others.

Amazing

12 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, high functioning autism, Independence, Miracles, Support

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

ability, amazing, asperger's, autism, disability, overcoming

Amazing.

Yesterday, Mary and I went to an appointment to close her case at the State Rehabilitation Services office. This agency helps people with disabilities, addictions, and other barriers to employment find employment. They have funds to help with education, transportation, testing, driver’s training, bus training, etc.

When Mary graduated from high school in 2005, the State Rehabilitation Services offices took over her transition services. They paid for neuropsych testing to evaluate her skills and her ability to complete job training or college, and find employment. Continue reading →

God’s Handiwork

13 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, faith, high functioning autism, Miracles

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

asperger's, autism, good works, Handiwork, kindness, potential

When our children were born, we looked forward to what they would become as they blossomed forth into the world. They had so much potential.

Teacher. Scientist. Fire Fighter. Business man or woman. Doctor. Lawyer. Engineer. Mechanic. Nurse. Caregiver. Hero. Writer. Leader. Minister.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

We were filled with dreams, wishes, and hopes for our children. But then we began to notice differences in their development. They didn’t speak, walk, move, or connect as well as the other children in our lives – their siblings, cousins, classmates. We listened in secret pain as our friends and siblings crowed about the achievements of their little Einsteins and future athletes. Our children walked late, talked late, and reacted in strange ways to the events around them. Continue reading →

Learning to Iron

02 Sunday Jun 2013

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, diagnosis, Disability, faith, high functioning autism, Independence, Miracles, Thankful, Transition issues

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

acheivement, asperger's, autism, moving away, success, transition

”A ship is safest in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.”

~John Shedd

All of a sudden, Will has left the safety of the family harbor. His ship has launched and he has moved into his own apartment in another city seventy miles away. His job is the beginning of his true career. He worked hard for this chance. All the years of therapy, special services, study and encouragement have resulted in this giant step toward independence, despite the giant challenge of autism.

During the interview with a huge corporation, they told him that if he were hired, he would start on April 16. On April 12, his father and I suggested that he probably wasn’t going to get the job. Whew! We had dodged that bullet, we thought. He would not be moving away from home. The very next day, the human resources department contacted him, offering him a position as an entry-level web developer. He would start on April 25. He was excited and nervous.

We were happy for him and dreadfully nervous. But we had stepped boldly forth into the risk that he might move away. We were the ones who encouraged him to go to the interview, and his dad actually drove him seventy miles for the interview, 140 miles round trip.

Anxiety plagued me. Had I prepared him enough? Had I taught him what he needed to know to live on his own, to navigate life outside the harbor? I wouldn’t have many more chances to teach him what he needed to know.

A week after we moved him, his sister Mary and I went to visit him for the weekend and bring another load of his furniture and possessions. I wanted to see how he was doing on his own. His apartment was still very sparsely furnished, with an air mattress in his bedroom and lawn chairs in the living room. He was camping in his own apartment. He would buy real furniture when he could afford it.

I got another chance to teach Will how to grab his dress clothes out of the dryer so that he would not have to iron them. However the clothes didn’t come out of the apartment dryers as wrinkle free as I had hoped. So we went shopping and he bought an ironing board and an iron.

Then we went back to his apartment and took all of his dress clothes out of the closet. I gave him and Mary ironing lessons. At home, my method of grabbing clothes quickly out of the dryer is an effective wrinkle deterrent, so my ironing lessons in the past were half hearted. But this time, both my children paid close attention. Both Will and Mary picked it up quickly. Will told me he has ironed his clothes every week since.

I am shocked that this is so hard. Letting go is harder than I thought it would be, but other parents, parents of typical kids, tell me that they found it difficult as well. When my kids were little, they had separation anxiety. Now I am feeling that anxiety on the other end of parenthood.

My chances to prepare my son for his future are diminishing quickly. He is learning his own lessons, and he is enjoying it for the most part. I love the John Shedd quote: “A ship is safest in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.” I have this saying in the signature line of my e-mails both at home and at work, to remind myself daily that my kids cannot stay in the harbor. In the end, keeping them in the harbor is not safe.

~Ann Kilter

What should I keep?

22 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by Ann Kilter in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, high functioning autism, Miracles

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

asperger's, autism, mementos, memories, transition

I have today off. It is lovely outside after a long cold rainy spring. I am sitting here, sorting through bills, records, and old school documents. I want to simplify my life by getting rid of unnecessary flotsam and jetsam.

And I am faced with a conundrum….should I keep the IEPC’s? Should I give them to my adult children? Or keep them in a file cabinet that they can access when and if they want to see them? How will they feel if they read them? Parents of neurotypical kids have a lot of records to keep. Parents of kids with special needs usually have boxes worth of stuff. I have to winnow this.

Mary might be hurt and confused by her records, though she surely is aware of them on some level. I am not sure how Will would feel. But I am absolutely sure that Patty would like me to throw hers away….Burn them.

Of course, I’ll keep the awards (and give them to them when they want them), a few sample report cards. I’ll ask them before I throw anything away.

I have just a few mementos from my own school years. A report card, one of my brother’s kindergarten report cards (I don’t know why I have it, but I need to get that over to him!).

It’s nice for everyone to have something to remember their childhood by.

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