Category Archives: Achievement

I Want the Gravy, Too.

05 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by in Achievement, Autism

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“You are seeing the successful culmination of your life’s work,” said my psychiatrist this morning.

I have been seeing this psychiatrist for treatment and maintenance of my bipolar II disorder for almost 20 years. He has seen me struggle through most of the years that my kids have had the diagnosis of autism. He asked me how my kids were doing.

I told him…

Will is working for the largest computer company in the world. He has been to Seattle twice in the last two months. He bought a house this winter. He struggles occasionally due to autistic features, but he is very successful. I always think of Will first when asked to give the news about my kids. Perhaps because he has spread his wings and taken off.

Mary has been working at her job as a IT help desk at a call center, and she is enjoying it. She is saving her money so she can move into an apartment next year, about this time.

Patty is preparing to move away to grad school. 400 miles away. She will have what amounts to a full ride. We are hoping to go down to visit the college in a few weeks in order to find an apartment.

We have almost met our goal. Our life’s work is almost complete. But I must admit that I want the gravy, too. If I ever have grandchildren, I would like to enjoy them for a while. If our children make their homes far away, I would like to have the strength and means to travel and take vacations to see them. Travel has never been part of my life. I hope Ralph can go with me. These are things that we have given up in order to complete our life’s work. But if they never happen, I think I can be satisfied with fulfilling our calling.

Where I am right now is where God has called me to be. I heard that song on the radio a few days ago. It so speaks to me right now.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=02CMMFNU

Blessings

14 Saturday Mar 2015

Posted by in Achievement, faith, Not autism

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What a year this has been.

Patty has been admitted to university to study for her masters degree in history. Yesterday, they offered her a tuition waiver and teacher assistant position with a stipend.

Mary started her job in February.

Will bought his house and moved in February.

In the midst of Ralph’s health issues, wonderful things are happening in our children’s lives.

I am unsettled about Patty moving 400 miles from home (by car), but the Lord says to my spirit, “Trust me. Trust me.” Patty has said that she feels it is her calling to teach history at the college level. I have to let her spread her wings.

Home Sweet Homes

17 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism

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“I will just live in a box, then,” said Will when he was eight. This was in response to my insistence that he do a better job sweeping the floor. I had said that learning to do housework would prepare him for living in his own apartment when he grew up.

My boy is planning to be a homeless person, I thought.

Flash forward 16 years, and Will moved into his own apartment.

Another three years and…

Will is in the process of buying his first house. He is very excited. So are we.

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I can visualize little ones coming down these stairs in his house on Christmas morning. Some day.

The house has passed inspection and the appraisal. It’s just a matter of time before he signs the papers.

He began by looking for a two bedroom apartment. Then someone from his church suggested that he buy their house, so they could move to Florida. The house has been flipped. New wiring, new roof, new furnace, and all the appliances.

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When he was eight, he had therapy at school, at home, and with outside therapists for his autism. Now he has a good job and is buying a house. Amazing!

I can’t wait to sit outside on his back deck with a cup of coffee.

lb329f044-m1o

 

Health – a Motivation for Transition

05 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability

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There’s nothing quite like a health crisis to remind us why we are working toward transition for our kids.

On Wednesday, I took Ralph to the ER to have IV fluids administered for acute renal failure (or acute kidney injury).

When I took him to the doctor, he was found to have lost 29 pounds in the space of a month, between doctors’ appointments. The doctor said that sent Ralph for labs, and depending on the results, might send him to the ER for IV fluids.

There was no call, so I hoped/assumed that the tests had been okay. So I went back work for the afternoon and then took Mary to her computer certification class. Shortly after we arrived home after her class, Ralph received a phone call from the doctor telling him to go to the ER because he was in acute renal failure. We spent the next four hours at the ER. The doctor there said that it was kidney injury rather than renal failure, and we were allowed to go home.

Ralph is still very weak and is wondering if he should retire from his physically demanding job. If that happens, we will need to move from our four bedroom house to something smaller with fewer maintenance demands and less cost.  We have been talking about this for over a year, but this event has brought more urgency to the discussion.

Our youngest daughter will probably move away from home within the year. However, because Mary will probably live with us for at least a little while, we need a two bedroom apartment or condo. We could move to a senior apartment complex if Mary were living on her own. We suggested a few weeks ago that she might want to live in the same complex, or if she gets a full time job, maybe in the same condo community. Always, I my urge to take care of her comes to the fore.

But at some point, Mary will need to live independently. Or perhaps with her brother. I’ve known a few people with lower IQs who lived on their own.

Ralph probably will recover fully. However, like many parents of special children, we have to think about the future for our oldest daughter. A friend at work said to me, “Why are you so concerned about Mary living on her own? Can’t she live with you?”

“Yes, she can live with us for as long as she can, but eventually, she will need live independently.”

 

 

 

When A Door Seems to Be Closing…

16 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by in Achievement, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, Disability, Independence, Transition issues

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Try some other doors. One of them might be unlocked.

Mary has been trying for since 2010 to find a job worthy of her degree in accounting. The door has been closing due to some seemingly significant barriers: being unable to drive, learning disability, autism, etc.

About three months ago, she told me that she was ready to try something else. (See Mary’s Wishes). She went to Goodwill and took a test for a new training program to qualify for a computer training program. She qualified, and was to start when she found out that the trainer had moved on to another job. It took three months for them to hire another teacher. Finally, she will be starting the program in about ten days. Two nights a week. The Kilter taxi service will be starting up again, but we can’t pass up this opportunity. Perhaps if we jiggle the door knob, another door will open. 🙂

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