Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
Yesterday, I took Marie to an apartment building in our town to look at a one bedroom apartment. Normally, this building has a long waiting list for one bedroom apartments. The rates are reasonable, and many residents are long-term. This apartment was available, I suspect, because it was being reconditioned. It is going to have completely new flooring installed. The apartment is modest, but pretty nice for a first apartment. It is less than a 20 minute bus ride to her job. Very important because Marie will never be able to drive.
Marie was going to write a check to reserve the apartment after work today. She was so excited to move into her own place.
Today, I received an urgent call from Denise from our health insurance company. She told me the local transplant center was out of network for them. If we chose to have Ralph evaluated there, our insurance company would pay 60%, leaving us on the hook for 40%, which would cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars. Completely out of our price range. The approved stem cell transplant centers are over a hundred miles away. We would need to travel and stay at hotels for Ralph’s treatment.
Marie will be 30 this summer. Her younger brother moved out four years ago to take a job in another city. He bought his own house a year ago. Her younger sister, Patty, moved to Ohio to pursue a graduate degree. She had to get an apartment.
Marie has been waiting to get her own place. She is the most impaired of her siblings; so her journey toward independence has been drawn out. Still, I believe she is ready. And moving to her own place would relieve us of the responsibility of driving her to her job (a precious job which took her four years to land after college.)
But she pays rent and transportation to us, which I am sorry to say is something that we need to make ends meet. Especially now that we will have to find a way to pay extra expenses for Ralph’s treatment. And we need someone to house sit our dog and our house if and when we need to be gone for a while. Our old dog is not nice to strangers. We need her at home. Yet she longs to be on her own. We need her help.
It’s not fair.
But she is willing at this point to help us. Of our children, Marie is the most selfless; like her father. I hope we can figure out a way for her to take this step sooner. And maybe this loss will turn out to be for the best.
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
annkilter 
I do wonder why the floors in this apartment needed to be replaced. And maybe there is an apartment or condo that is closer to Marie’s job. We did look at condos this summer which were very nice and would cost the same as the apartment per month.
Everything will work out fine for Marie. God’s timing is always the best and your testimony with all your kids proves He is right there with you in the midst of it all. I’ll be praying for you.
As always, this post inspires me as they all have these past couple of years. My youngest is now a senior in high school this year and we are in “wait and see” mode as to what opportunities are available when he graduates.
Encouraging words. Thank you.
Our kids were helped by the State Rehabilitation agency in combination with Goodwill Industries, which had employment services, along with shadowed employment. Even though Will and Marie had college degrees, they still needed help to develop certain job skills that people without autism seem to pick up on.
Thanks for that information, it is a great help as I am prepping mine for life after high school. You’ve given me two resources to look into. Thank you as always.
Everything will work its way out.
Hi Ann, it is lovely to see you back here but I am so sad for the circumstances. As a parent with a severely disabled child I can appreciate how much you are torn and to have the diagnosis that you have for your husband is just plain cruel. I hope that you are able to navigate your way through all of these challenges in time.