Transition is the long term process of changing handles to wings for our children. Set this expectation in your mind: it will take longer, with many fits and starts. I recommend the post below by my writer, friend, G. Allen Barrett, poet, writer, and father. I so enjoy his sway with words. In each of our families, we share the experience of parenting special needs children.
4:40a.m. I heard “handles or wings.” Not audibly, but thoughts rattled and I carried my journal to the bathroom and wrote it down. My friend Peter Dehaan commented about my blog post on writing, the one about keeping paper and pen available while sleeping. He mentioned that sometimes a thought would arrive in the middle of the night and when he revisited it the next morning he was clueless as to why he wrote it down.
I imagined an angel with handles where wings would usually be found. Maybe my guardian angel could be easily moved. Just grab ahold matie, and take control.
Or maybe the angel is like a G.I. Joe I had when I was a child, the handles were where I would attach a parachute and throw him off the garage roof.
Maybe when God created angels he gave them a choice at the end of the…
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annkilter 
Loved your thoughtful words…and I agree about the “night-time” writing! We have a 51-yr. old autistic son who has lived away from home since he was 13, but comes home for week-long visits and is still very much a part of our family. SO…we don’t have a “handle” on him (so to speak), but DO still advocate strongly in his behalf, and pray that angels with wings see to his every need, and to the needs of those around him…both peers and staff members.