When I was in high school, my mother would frequently tell her friends, sometimes in my hearing, that the reason I had such high grades was that I was “overcompensating” for my weaknesses (She felt that I was unattractive, had poor social skills, and was clumsy).
It is probable that I have some autistic traits, though some of them have diminished over the years.
Some studies have suggested that autism and genius have some traits in common. http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/10/what-child-prodigies-and-autistic-people-have-in-common/
As we were raising our kids, we tried to use their “intense fascinations” or what would be called “strengths” in normal kids to encourage them toward career studies or enrichment activities. So Will loved music as a youngster and computers. He was in band/orchestra for 10 years from middle to high school. He has a job as web developer programmer now. Mary’s strength was in numbers. She loves accounting. Patty, although not autistic, loves history and is working toward a degree in that field.
I contend that “overcompensating” is not the right description of the reason for our children’s accomplishment, because that idea shines a light on what they may lack. What is a good description?
What are the strengths of your children?
annkilter 
Damien was always interested in paleontology, so we used his fascination to build toward his academic growth. I tied everything to paleontology, including math. Today, his interest has grown to include all things to do with history and historical events. If I can show him a mathematical equation by tying it to history, he gets it. Furthermore, Damien learned to read around the same time that he learned to speak. His psychologist suggested that he was just memorizing the books because he was “too young to read.” I had the psychologist take down one of the books she had that Damien had never seen. He was, to her surprise, able to read the book at 3 1/2 years old. Today, Damien excels in both history and literature. He is an excellent writer and has almost completed his first book. This is not a book you would expect from a teenager, as it is full of historically correct data and literary allusions.
Dylan is my ‘hands-on’ guy. He is a strategist and can do anything with his hands. He can take something apart and put it back together again without having to write where the pieces go. He does very well with anything that is hands on. He also is very good with people and is able to relate to most anyone. Furthermore, Dyl excels in athletics. I guess you could say he is my kinesthetic learner. He is in martial arts and within less than 6 months, he has become a Kuk Sool Won world champion. Dyl does very well in all classes, but excels in law enforcement. The classes are both hands on and are related to understanding human nature.
I do agree that people at or around the genius level are very much like people with autism. I think that is why I have read, on several occasions, that Sir Isaac Newton, Lewis Carroll, and Albert Einstein may have possibly had autism. They were all very intelligent individuals with many eccentricities.
I have recently been told by one of Damien’s psychologists that she feels I have Asperger’s. She noticed that I have a lot of autistic traits, and I stim as well. I, too, was very socially awkward; and although I was friendly with many of the people I went to school with, I could never say I had a best friend. That was up until I was 20 years of age, and I made a friend with a woman thirty years my elder. She is still my best friend. I never felt people my own age were mature. My IQ level was rated at 153 when I was young, and I excel at mathematics. I wish I could say that my autistic traits have diminished over the years, but it seems they have increased. At times my obsessive compulsions tend to make life unbearable.
It is amazing how talented some people with autism are, along with their relatives. You have done an amazing job of following your insight regarding your kids.
Sometimes people with autistic traits have comorbid conditions, even if some of those traits could be described as autistic. My oldest daughter, Mary, has severe learning disabilities, some of which she has overcome. I have bipolar disorder, which I am under treatment for.